Quote

People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Going
People
Exhale
Bend
Relax
Control
Littles
Little
Everything

More quotes by George Carlin

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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
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Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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There are ten thousand people in the United States in a persistent vegetative state. Just enough to start a small town. Think of them as veggie-burghers.
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Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] Look, they nearly missed! Yes, but not quite.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
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Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
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Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
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I'd say pot has been a break-even proposition for me.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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