Quote

People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
Exhale
Bend
Relax
Control
Littles
Little
Everything
Going

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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
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Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
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There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
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