Quote

All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Sometimes
Empty
Peasants
Feels
Asks
Drugs
Different
Wrong
Send
Long
Poor
Third
Things
Littles
Thirds
World
Reason
Reasons
People
Little
Plant
Feel
Drug

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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.
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We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.
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At 68 I'm every age I ever was. I always think of that. I'm not just 68. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three.
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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
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When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
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I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.
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I don't consider myself a cynic. I think of myself as a skeptic and a realist. But I understand the word cynic has more than one meaning, and I see how I could be seen as cynical. George, you're cynical. Well, you know, they say if you scratch a cynic you find a disappointed idealist. And perhaps the flame still flickers a little, you know
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Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
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