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Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
Numbers
Crabs
Anyone
Misguided
Certain
Onstage
Going
Attract
Always
Sex
Never
Number
Groupies
Think
Interested
Groupie
Thinking
Instead
Clap
More quotes by George Carlin
When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
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The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
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I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
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