Quote

Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
Numbers
Crabs
Anyone
Misguided
Certain
Onstage
Going
Attract
Always
Sex
Never
Number
Groupies
Think
Interested
Groupie
Thinking
Instead
Clap

More quotes by George Carlin

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You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
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People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
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Hooray for most things!
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
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I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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