Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
High
Understand
Nothing
Onstage
Mean
Eight
Going
Asked
Never
Question
People
Since
Morning
More quotes by George Carlin
Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
George Carlin
I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
George Carlin
The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
George Carlin
At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
George Carlin
You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
George Carlin
Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
George Carlin
I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
George Carlin
I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
George Carlin
One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
George Carlin
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
George Carlin
We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
George Carlin
Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
George Carlin
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
George Carlin
Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
George Carlin
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
George Carlin
I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
George Carlin
Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
George Carlin
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
George Carlin
They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
George Carlin
Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
George Carlin