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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Best
Right
Believe
Inventive
Performer
Performers
Worthwhile
Known

More quotes by George Carlin

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When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
George Carlin
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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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I believe you can joke about anything.
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
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Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it you have a choice.
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Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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Traditional American values: Genocide, aggression, conformity, emotional repression, hypocrisy, and the worship of comfort and consumer goods.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
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Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
George Carlin
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To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
George Carlin
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I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin