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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Right
Believe
Inventive
Performer
Performers
Worthwhile
Known
Best

More quotes by George Carlin

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Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.
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To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
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Hooray for most things!
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
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Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
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Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
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You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
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When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
George Carlin
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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
George Carlin
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
George Carlin
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
George Carlin
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You never see a smiling runner.
George Carlin
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I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
George Carlin