Quote

I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Performer
Performers
Worthwhile
Known
Best
Right
Believe
Inventive

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
George Carlin
Image
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
George Carlin
Image
When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
George Carlin
Image
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
Image
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
George Carlin
Image
Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
George Carlin
Image
I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
George Carlin
Image
Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
George Carlin
Image
If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
George Carlin
Image
Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
George Carlin
Image
One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
George Carlin
Image
The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
George Carlin
Image
If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
George Carlin
Image
What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
George Carlin
Image
There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
George Carlin
Image
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin
Image
Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
George Carlin
Image
Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
George Carlin
Image
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
George Carlin
Image
I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
George Carlin