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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Merely
Hold
Example
Philosophy
Poignant
Art
Traders
Music
Examples
Might
Priests
Gotten

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I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
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Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.
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There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
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Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
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Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
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The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
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The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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