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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Gotten
Merely
Hold
Example
Philosophy
Poignant
Art
Traders
Music
Examples
Might
Priests
More quotes by George Carlin
There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
George Carlin
What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
George Carlin
How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
George Carlin
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
George Carlin
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
George Carlin
No comment is a comment.
George Carlin
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
George Carlin
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
George Carlin
It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
George Carlin
I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
George Carlin
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
George Carlin
The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
George Carlin
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
George Carlin
The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
George Carlin
If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? Would you like some breadsticks? No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll.
George Carlin
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
George Carlin
The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
George Carlin
If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?
George Carlin
