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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Gotten
Merely
Hold
Example
Philosophy
Poignant
Art
Traders
Music
Examples
Might
Priests

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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
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The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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Cancer research is a growth industry.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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I do something about the weather. I stay home.
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.
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There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are.
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As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
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I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
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If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
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When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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