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No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Ever
Humor
Game
Says
Team
Winning
Games
Funny
More quotes by George Carlin
You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
George Carlin
People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
George Carlin
You never see a smiling runner.
George Carlin
Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
George Carlin
Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
George Carlin
Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
George Carlin
The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
George Carlin
If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
George Carlin
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
George Carlin
Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
George Carlin
If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
George Carlin
War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
George Carlin
Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
George Carlin
You take 5 white guys and you take 5 black guys and put em together for a week and what you won't have is 5 blacks guys talking like, 'Golly gee, we really won that big basketball game' but you will have 5 white guys talking like 'Yo slick, whuzzup...we be shootin hoops and mad playin, slammed those mofos
George Carlin
I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.
George Carlin
All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
George Carlin
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
George Carlin
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
George Carlin
It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
George Carlin
