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No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Game
Says
Team
Winning
Games
Funny
Ever
Humor
More quotes by George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
George Carlin
I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.
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Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.
George Carlin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
George Carlin
I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
George Carlin
There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
George Carlin
The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
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Life is tough, then you die.
George Carlin
Nothing rectifies out-of-control market failures like a healthy dose of government intervention and mountains of bureaucracy.
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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
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I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.
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All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
George Carlin
We created god in our own image and likeness!
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Cancer research is a growth industry.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.
George Carlin
