Quote

Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Taught
Religion
School
Reject
Wanted
Rejects
Think
Catholic
Thinking
Tools
Independent
Gave

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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven.
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I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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