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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
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Film Actor
Film Producer
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Journalist
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Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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More quotes by George Carlin
We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
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I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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Life is a series of dogs.
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
George Carlin
They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
George Carlin
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
George Carlin
Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it you have a choice.
George Carlin
In the 'bullshit department' a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman.
George Carlin
Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
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I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
George Carlin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.
George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.
George Carlin
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
George Carlin
