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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Killed

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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
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There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
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As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
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Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
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