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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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More quotes by George Carlin

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It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
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I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
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We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
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Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
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There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
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