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Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Bigs
Crown
Moving
Jewels
Doesn
Crowns
Money
Broadway
Littles
Career
Anything
Careers
Little
Move
Mean
Nice
Jewel

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I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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Does killing time damage eternity?
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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
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I don't consider myself a cynic. I think of myself as a skeptic and a realist. But I understand the word cynic has more than one meaning, and I see how I could be seen as cynical. George, you're cynical. Well, you know, they say if you scratch a cynic you find a disappointed idealist. And perhaps the flame still flickers a little, you know
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
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I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
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Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
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