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Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Bigs
Crown
Moving
Jewels
Doesn
Crowns
Money
Broadway
Littles
Career
Anything
Careers
Little
Move
Mean
Nice
Jewel

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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
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I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.
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Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
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I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
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Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] Look, they nearly missed! Yes, but not quite.
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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I do something about the weather. I stay home.
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It's the old American Double Standard, ya know: Say one thing, do somethin' different. And of course this country is founded on the double standard. That's our history. We were founded on a very basic double standard: This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free.
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President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
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I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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