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Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Heart
Metals
Steel
Nerves
Iron
Test
Balls
Tests
Brass
Gold
Metal
More quotes by George Carlin
I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
George Carlin
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
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Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
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I try not to see new comics - their acts or their films. Part of that is professional. I don't want to be influenced. But another part is fear and jealousy. I'm afraid to see how good they might be. I don't like that emotion, but it's part of me.
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Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.
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There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and entertaining the wrong people with the wrong material and that I was not being true to myself. I went through a metamorphosis into something more authentic for me, a more authentic stage voice and writing voice.
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
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I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
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