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Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Iron
Test
Balls
Tests
Brass
Gold
Metal
Heart
Metals
Steel
Nerves

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Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
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Cancer research is a growth industry.
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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
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To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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