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The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Syllables
Divorced
Reality
Euphemism

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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
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I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
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It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
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The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
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I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
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Traditional American values: Genocide, aggression, conformity, emotional repression, hypocrisy, and the worship of comfort and consumer goods.
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Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
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I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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