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You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Best
Live
Years
Eighty
Six
Magic
Pure
Minutes

More quotes by George Carlin

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Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
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Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
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You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
George Carlin
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I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
George Carlin
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Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.
George Carlin
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Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
George Carlin
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I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.
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The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely for three months. You can hear the clarity of my thinking and of my speech on that album.
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
George Carlin
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
George Carlin
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
George Carlin
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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.
George Carlin
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
George Carlin
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
George Carlin