Quote

You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Eighty
Six
Magic
Pure
Minutes
Best
Live
Years

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
George Carlin
Image
Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
George Carlin
Image
Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
George Carlin
Image
Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
George Carlin
Image
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
George Carlin
Image
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
George Carlin
Image
For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
George Carlin
Image
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
George Carlin
Image
I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
George Carlin
Image
My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
George Carlin
Image
I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.
George Carlin
Image
How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
George Carlin
Image
I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.
George Carlin
Image
Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
George Carlin
Image
Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
George Carlin
Image
I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
George Carlin
Image
I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
George Carlin
Image
The future will soon be a thing of the past.
George Carlin
Image
There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
George Carlin
Image
One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
George Carlin