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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
Injure
Fiber
Psyche
Moral
Words
Really
Think
Thinking

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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
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We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
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I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
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I'd say pot has been a break-even proposition for me.
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
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All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
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Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven.
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
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