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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Moral
Words
Really
Think
Thinking
People
Injure
Fiber
Psyche

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I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
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I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.
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There are ten thousand people in the United States in a persistent vegetative state. Just enough to start a small town. Think of them as veggie-burghers.
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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
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Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
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Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
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I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.
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A pear is a failed apple.
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Interesting form of murder we come up with: Assassination. We assassinate people who've told us to live together in harmony and try to love one another. Apparently we are not ready to live together.
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Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
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I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
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