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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Really
Think
Thinking
People
Injure
Fiber
Psyche
Moral
Words
More quotes by George Carlin
You never see a smiling runner.
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Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
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When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
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When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? Would you like some breadsticks? No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll.
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
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I went to George Washington High School for six months before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an even worse experience than the Catholic schools. I mean, they were still teaching fractions. But mostly, I played hooky.
George Carlin
