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It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Crossed
Entertainment
Fingers
Business
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More quotes by George Carlin
When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
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Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
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When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
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The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
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The status quo sucks.
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
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We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.
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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
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Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
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I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
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I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
George Carlin
