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It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Crossed
Entertainment
Fingers
Business
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More quotes by George Carlin
Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic detachment that I find valuable. I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise, for the sake of cell phones and Jet Skis.
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I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.
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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
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The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
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Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
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Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
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Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
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One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
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