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I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Zombie
Bullshit
Angel
Atheism
Wells
Might
Well
Package
Going
Packages
More quotes by George Carlin
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
George Carlin
There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are.
George Carlin
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
George Carlin
Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
George Carlin
We created god in our own image and likeness!
George Carlin
I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
George Carlin
Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
George Carlin
Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
George Carlin
How is it possible to have a civil war?
George Carlin
My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
George Carlin
I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
George Carlin
All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
George Carlin
I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
George Carlin
If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
George Carlin
The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
George Carlin
The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.
George Carlin
No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
George Carlin
The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
George Carlin
I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
George Carlin