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I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Angel
Atheism
Wells
Might
Well
Package
Going
Packages
Zombie
Bullshit

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I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
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You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
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Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.
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The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
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I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
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All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
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You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
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