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I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Going
Packages
Zombie
Bullshit
Angel
Atheism
Wells
Might
Well
Package

More quotes by George Carlin

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Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
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Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally producing a perfectly cylindrical, absolutely wonderful joint that you either locked at both ends or pinched off, or pinched at one end and left open at the other.
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In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.
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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
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I do something about the weather. I stay home.
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
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I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
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Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
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Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
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Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
George Carlin
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
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