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All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Ever
Different
Make
Politicians
Things
Separate
Politician
Media
Talk
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More quotes by George Carlin
Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.
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The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely for three months. You can hear the clarity of my thinking and of my speech on that album.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
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Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
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When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
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One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
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It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.
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I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
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That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.
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Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
George Carlin