Quote

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds? How come abbreviated is such a long word?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Long
Word
Way
Sound
Abbreviated
Would
Words
Misspelled
Find
Webster
Ever
Spelled
Firsts
Dictionary
Come
Sounds
First
Wrote

More quotes by George Carlin

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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
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On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
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Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
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You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
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Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
George Carlin
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
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No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
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For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
George Carlin