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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Killed
Slow
Fast
Evolution
Small
Nice
Pox
Idea
Pacifism
Ideas
Comedian

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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
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It is said that Indians were sometimes named for the first thing they saw when they were born. Makes you wonder why there aren't more Indians named Hairy Pussy, doesn't it?
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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Nothing rectifies out-of-control market failures like a healthy dose of government intervention and mountains of bureaucracy.
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I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
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Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
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Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.
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