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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Evolution
Small
Pox
Nice
Pacifism
Idea
Comedian
Ideas
Killed
Slow
Fast

More quotes by George Carlin

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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
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As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
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I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
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Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
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Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
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I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
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There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
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