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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Idea
Pacifism
Ideas
Comedian
Killed
Slow
Fast
Evolution
Small
Nice
Pox

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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it you have a choice.
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When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
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Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
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I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
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The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven.
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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
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The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
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The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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