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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Make
Stone
Humorous
Stones
God
Humor
Powerful
Funny
Lift
Bigs
Lifts
More quotes by George Carlin
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
George Carlin
If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
George Carlin
Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
George Carlin
The future will soon be a thing of the past.
George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
George Carlin
There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.
George Carlin
Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
George Carlin
Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
George Carlin
How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
George Carlin
The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
George Carlin
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
George Carlin
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
George Carlin
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
George Carlin
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
George Carlin
I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be Governor Bush. I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.
George Carlin
Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
George Carlin
Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
George Carlin