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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Humorous
Stones
God
Humor
Powerful
Funny
Lift
Bigs
Lifts
Make
Stone
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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
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Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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The future will soon be a thing of the past.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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