Quote

Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Cures
Claim
Discovered
Announced
Scientist
Slightest
Claims
Apathy
However
Shown
Interest
Cure
Today
Scientists

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
George Carlin
Image
No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
George Carlin
Image
Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
George Carlin
Image
Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
George Carlin
Image
My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
George Carlin
Image
I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
George Carlin
Image
Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
George Carlin
Image
On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
George Carlin
Image
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
George Carlin
Image
Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
George Carlin
Image
They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
George Carlin
Image
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
George Carlin
Image
Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
George Carlin
Image
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin
Image
Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
George Carlin
Image
How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
George Carlin
Image
My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
George Carlin
Image
I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
George Carlin
Image
Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
George Carlin
Image
Hooray for most things!
George Carlin