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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Drivers
Humor
Color
Licenses
Hair
Bald
Funny
Psychics
Men
Driver
Empowerment
License

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The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.
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If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
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The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely for three months. You can hear the clarity of my thinking and of my speech on that album.
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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
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Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
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I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
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