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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Supreme
Results
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Earth
States

More quotes by George Carlin

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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
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Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
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The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
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I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
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If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
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Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.
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I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
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At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
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When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.
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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
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No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
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