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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Number
Records
Numbers
Consecutive
Days
Previous
Alive
Stayed
Every
Beat
Beats
Record

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One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.
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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
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Life is a series of dogs.
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Life is not that complicated.
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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.
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