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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Beat
Every
Beats
Record
Number
Records
Numbers
Consecutive
Previous
Days
Stayed
Alive

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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
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The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
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Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
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Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
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I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.
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Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.
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Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
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To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
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