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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Florida
Ages
Age
Everything
Like
Temperatures
Temperature

More quotes by George Carlin

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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
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I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.
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So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
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Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
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When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
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Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
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I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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