Quote

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Funny
Goofy
Good
Named
Would
Planet
Planets
Certainly
Humor
Name
Qualifies
Names
Pluto

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
George Carlin
Image
Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
George Carlin
Image
Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
George Carlin
Image
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin
Image
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
George Carlin
Image
The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
George Carlin
Image
When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
George Carlin
Image
Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
George Carlin
Image
Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
George Carlin
Image
I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
George Carlin
Image
It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.
George Carlin
Image
There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
George Carlin
Image
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin
Image
I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
George Carlin
Image
I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.
George Carlin
Image
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
George Carlin
Image
Everyone smiles in the same language.
George Carlin
Image
I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.
George Carlin
Image
Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
George Carlin
Image
Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
George Carlin