Quote

That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Stuff
Place
Find
Whole
Trying
Life
Meaning

More quotes by George Carlin

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People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
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The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
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They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
George Carlin
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Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.
George Carlin
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Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
George Carlin
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
George Carlin
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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
George Carlin
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Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
George Carlin
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I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
George Carlin
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I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
George Carlin
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What I hated most was seeing those priests and brothers getting so much pleasure out of inflicting pain. I wondered what was wrong with them.
George Carlin
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My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
George Carlin
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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
George Carlin
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The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
George Carlin
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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
George Carlin
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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
George Carlin
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Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
George Carlin
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin