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That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Find
Whole
Trying
Life
Meaning
Stuff
Place
More quotes by George Carlin
What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
George Carlin
People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
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There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
George Carlin
Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
George Carlin
Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
George Carlin
What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
George Carlin
I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.
George Carlin
I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
George Carlin
Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
George Carlin
Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
George Carlin
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
George Carlin
You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
George Carlin
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
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Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.
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President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
George Carlin
Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
George Carlin
Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
George Carlin
People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
George Carlin
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
George Carlin
I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
George Carlin
