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Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Rocks
Humor
Funny
Music
Guatemala
Tropical
Soft
Comedian
Rock

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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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I do something about the weather. I stay home.
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Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.
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Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
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Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
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As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
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Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.
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There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.
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You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.
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Religion is just mind control.
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I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
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