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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Called
Colosseum
Part
Coliseum
Section
Emperor
Sections
Sat
Rome
Special

More quotes by George Carlin

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I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
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People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.
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When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
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I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be Governor Bush. I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.
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Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
George Carlin
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
George Carlin
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Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
George Carlin
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What I hated most was seeing those priests and brothers getting so much pleasure out of inflicting pain. I wondered what was wrong with them.
George Carlin
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Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
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The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely for three months. You can hear the clarity of my thinking and of my speech on that album.
George Carlin