Quote

In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Emperor
Sections
Sat
Rome
Special
Called
Colosseum
Part
Coliseum
Section

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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
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The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.
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