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Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Avoid
Gold
Play
People
Cards
Teeth

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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
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Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
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You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.
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Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Does killing time damage eternity?
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There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and entertaining the wrong people with the wrong material and that I was not being true to myself. I went through a metamorphosis into something more authentic for me, a more authentic stage voice and writing voice.
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I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.
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When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.
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For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
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Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
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Surround yourself with what you love.
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
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I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.
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