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Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Avoid
Gold
Play
People
Cards
Teeth

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What I hated most was seeing those priests and brothers getting so much pleasure out of inflicting pain. I wondered what was wrong with them.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
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One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
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On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
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If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? Would you like some breadsticks? No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll.
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
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Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
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If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
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No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
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We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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