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We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Years
Make
Life
Added
Paradox
Learned
Living

More quotes by George Carlin

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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
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Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
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The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
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Surround yourself with what you love.
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
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My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed.
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The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.
George Carlin
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
George Carlin
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Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
George Carlin